Coffee Prince ♥

I superly ♥ Coffee Prince drama:)

Leave it All behind

Pale blue skies
Green green grass
That hint of sunshine
Red roses
and violets too
Just me and you

What a wonderful world

I've said my goodbyes
held your hand in mine
Looked into your beautiful eyes
So hard to let you go

Like a flicker of candle
Warm yet fragile
For a life so small
But you gave your all

And suddenly
I just wished
to see that pale blue skies
green green grass

That hint of sunshine
red roses
and violets too
Just me and you

Goodbye. I love you.


This is dedicated to my dear friend, Carine and her mum.

He's always still

Dear God,

This is the day
Where some parts of the world crumble
Where people can tangibly hold their agony
Some parts of the world
Lies smaller corners
Where our existence lay
Small but significant nonetheless
Trying our utter best to do what we can
With what we have
And even if we don't have
It seems worth the embarrassment
For the silliness of the moment
Later to be a memory

Sometimes, we felt like throwing in the towel
Other times in pain
Bereaved
Hurt
Lost
Discouraged

But God
You never seem far
Though intangible
Though invisible
You never tumble
You never fall
And You never fail to comfort those in need


No matter what happens
Your Grace is never far from where You won't be able to reach us






I Love You, God.
Never make me grow up without You.

Not so perfect

"Ahma, this is jiejie, this is me...this is weiwei. Do you recognise? Weiwei became fatter."
"This boy just finished doing army?"
"No Ahma. This is Weiwei ar. You remember?"

I just tried not to cry.

"Yokeling ar, I want to go home quickly."
"Ahma, just wait for 2 more days. Wait for your report to be out."
"Ok. Yokeling ar, I want to go home quickly. My hand very pain."

Ahma, I promise there's no more tubes and injections when we get home. We'll eat bananas together and watch the television. I'll promise to hold your hand until you fall asleep, like how we hold hands in the hospital.




Feeling powerless and seeing your loved ones suffer in pain is absolutely the worst feeling in the world.




And I dread it the most.


Things are not so good at home either. I wish for everything to stop. But it won't.
Time to grow up. I now view things in a different perspective. When everything doesn't go well for you, how would you react? How would you face it?


I'm happy but I'm not.
I tried but I can't.
I'm seeing it but I can't do anything about it.


I'm feeling helpless and upset. I admit it. I can't put on a mask all the time. People are not so perfect and strong all the time. They have their vulnerable sides.




And losing a loved one is the worst of the worst feeling.

Grandma

Dear Grandma,

I've got so many stories to tell you, so many things to chat with you
Even simple things like just asking "How are you?", "Have you eaten?", "The weather is very hot today"
Just visiting you, sitting by your bedside and watching that small television at that little corner
Patting the stray cat that Aunt just adopted and watching you stroke it
Telling me stories of the past during your kampong days

But as days go by, your body became frail and weak
Your eyesight is blurred one side and you became bed-ridden

That's not all

Your money-grubbing children plot of how to have a share in your inheritence
How to coax you out of what they want
Never sparing a thought of how you felt
You just gave in; knowingly but willingly

That's not all

Your condition worsens
You struggle to get by everyday
And finally dementia starts to take it's course
One moment you forget totally who we are, the other you have to think hard to remember
Otherwise you zonk out; totally spaced out

Your weak body just slumped on the bed
One foot into the grave






I am nothing but helpless. Only praying.
















God please help her.

What If?

"What if fear doesn't exist.
The child would not have to lie to his mum.
The girl would not cry for the guy.
The man would not look out the window wondering how to feed his family for the next half year.

What if the world contains no doubt.
The singer would not sit and write that sad song.
The wife would not sniff out her husband's coat.
The old grandma would not frown in her seat on Sunday morning.

What if there is no greed among us.
The businessman would not have to sell his house.
The young lad would be contented being just a friend.
The domestic helper would not have to return to her country in shame.

But then...

How would the child learn that lying is wrong.
How would the girl know of a greater love.
How would the man realize that everyday, they are being fed.

The singer wouldn't know how to tie emotions with skills.
The wife could still be ignoring her husband.
Grandma could be sitting at home wondering when her world will end.

The businessman wouldn't be free enough to be with his children.
That lad wouldn't understand love.
The helper would have to wait two years to see her family again......if all this hadn't happened.


I'd promise you wings to fly, but how would you ever learn to run." -adapted from a friend's blog entry.

There are too many obstacles in life that contains the doubt of 'what if'. At times, we would be too angry with ourselves for just trying too hard or not even trying at all. All in all, we'll somehow just end up in exhaustion. It happens to everyone including me. Too many thoughts, too many plans, too disorganised, etc etc especially now that I'm fully independent and am a working adult already. Somehow, I just feel that I'm half dumped into a vast ocean. Maybe three-quarts in.

I surrender. And...

God, I'm grateful for You.

崇拜

"你的姿態　你的青睞
我存在在你的存在
你以為愛　就是被愛
你揮霍了我的崇拜

我活了　我愛了　我都不管了
心愛到瘋了　恨到算了　就好了
可能的　可以的　真的可惜了
幸福好不容易　怎麼你卻不敢了呢

我還以為我們能　不同於別人
我還以為不可能的　不會不可能

風箏有風　海豚有海
我存在在我的存在
所以明白　所以離開
所以不再為愛而愛
自己存在　在你之外"

令人流淚的歌一定要再三看再三聽，直至看到聽到不再流淚感到麻目 那一刻開始，人才會開始真正面對那個受傷害的自己。

How many times have you felt so upset that you feel that life becomes meaningless and numb? Not being emo, but just a thought that it's just a choice how you want to live your life and face the hurts that come your way.

Graduation!

It's over =)
3 years of study just ended. Everything that we've been through: laughter, joy, sorrow, despair, anger, friendships made and broken, lecturers constant nagging etc etc.

A new chapter in life begins.

By the way I found an interesting article:

Funny truths about life in small, small Singapore

1.Night- sleep with aircon, Day- bathe with heater on
2.Day- Cannot wake up, Night- Cannot sleep
3.Cigarettes- Convenient to buy, not convenient to smoke
4.Chewing Gum- Can chew, cannot buy (restricted to buying)
5.Private Cars- Cheaper and cheaper to buy, more and more expensive to maintain
6.Education- Teachers are teaching less but expecting students to learn more
7.High tech babaric Singaporeans- Know how to use state-of-the-art equipments but don't know how to use a simple dustbin of toilet properly
8.Translation is needed between Singapore Chinese and Mainland Chinese
9.Singaporeans don't like to vote but like to complain
10.Half of the Singaporeans rush to buy Hello Kitty, but the other half rush to kill and abuse stray cats
11.Public Bus- Half the crowd squeeze in the front section of the bus, the second section is for carrying ghosts

LOL!

I am Singaporean but not all the above applies to me-_-'''

Anyway, really thank and appreciate lots to all friends =) lublub!
Have to find job soon. But that's just part en parcel of life. What's gonna happen next? I don't have a clue. No matter how foolproof my life plan seems to be there's just loopholes that I cannot fathom. No matter how much I want things to go my way, it simply isn't perfect. And no matter how hard I pray at times, the prayer isn't always answered. Just like the article above, it doesn't accurately define our personalities.

But I know as You said: To all perfection I see a limit.

I am greatful the One Above is looking.

Happy=)

Finally assessment's over! Yay!

Went out with carol, liu chang, carmen and sushi to kbox on thurs. Sang all the way from 7plus till 1plus...we went absolutely crazy. Can't help but feel more relieved that assessment's over. Although the comments made by the external assessor is rather worrying, I just hope for nothing but to pass. Hope to work, save and go overseas study or backpack~ Then today went to sec school gathering. Although just part of us came, but I enjoyed myself. Still get to hear updates from them about their lives. After that still went with mingwei, zhijun, leslie and gabriel to meet gary. Went to have supper at bedok. Just drinking the milo makes me very full~~it's so thick and sweet. And the more I talked to leslie, the more lame I find him. Omg and I even use the wrong words...so it's yue miao yue hei.

Anyway, just can't wait for the weekends. Got church where I can just relax myself and guitar on this sunday. And Lao Mic's coming for dinner=)) lublub~~ Next week is also very packed: Mon-movies, tue-ikea trip, wed-grad show meeting, fri-bbq and overnight at rudy's place=), sat-church and sun-guitar. Oh my...I'm soooo going broke. Crazy.

All in all, I just wanna rest in You. Nobody else makes me feel more comforted than You.

Randomness

Really a day of randomness...randomly go to walk around with xibing and linda after lesson, randomly just go to orchard and randomly just picked a movie to watch. And the movie has a random ending-_-'''' But I enjoyed the day talking and spending time with them...heee

P.S to bingbing: it's the future of the bunnyland. you'll be very very happy.

Felt much relief after stage 2 assessment. And to add, it's the longest assessment I've been to. From 3pm to 11pm, which means we waited for 8 hours for the assessment and meatball's so frustrated to the point that she don't bother to hit things around anymore. Ahh...still have PP and flash to do...so tired-_-''''

Really it's a miracle that I managed to survive this assessment....I've been sick, having flu and cough all the way while mugging for fyp. And worst of all, I keep sleeping and sleeping until I feel so afraid that I couldn't finish everything on time. My mum's worried because at one point I kept coughing so badly till I nearly vomitted on the mock up I was doing. And it's even more ironic that she passed me a wet market plastic bag which made me feel more nauseous. To top it all, I was doing the mockup on the morning of my assessment. Which means if I puked on it, I'm seriously a goner.

But I survived :) Thank you God. And thanks mum for the many different herbal teas that you made for me.

2 more weeks and graduating soon~~nafa friends, jiayou jiayou wor!!! haha...shall look forward to going out with nafa cliques and having bbq with class :D

In You I put my trust, to all perfection I see a limit and Your faithfulness endures

Liberation

When you don't have it, you crave for it.
When you do, you crave even more.

Even less. Or for granted.

Then you tear yourself away from it.
Only to find yourself ponder even more.

Seeing cow's blog reminds me of my granny too.

Granny just wait for me and those that really care for you.

Feels much liberation after just letting go of certain hurting things, certain misunderstandings, certain very unhappy incidents. Seriously, I do bear no grudge neither is the burden and questioning for me to bear alone. In fact, I'm not alone=) Really there's no hard feelings. But I do get upset at the mention of it.

Just that letting go takes time.
But I'm contented with the way things are now=)

Do really cherish and appreciate the people around me. Thank you ahma, mama, cow=) And the friends around who truly cared.

Just Simply Blissful :)

Met up with mother, ahma, ting and cow for dinner at aji-tei~ Laughed, talked, joked with them; really appreciate them in my life. Few years down the road and we might gather again, having a nostalgic scene; this time a wider view of things but the same joy and trust when we shared.














We are just insane~ And ting's playing with the chopsticks and teabag because there's NO string at all attach to the teabag, cow's teabag keep sinking to the bottom. Mother attempted to eat the milk pudding in one mouth. The salty red bean isn't meant to be on the pudding but it was there to look like 'something' significant to the SM partners. After the dessert, I was made to drink 'ovaltine green tea'. Thanks to SOMEONE's ovaltine sweet. Ahma now has 2 soft toys that we could squeeze when we stay over at her house chiong assessment :) Heh~


Want to follow ting's random quotes: Hello stranger, follow the rabbits :)

How many times does opportunity knock at your door?

It's all about persperctives, really. No biggie.

If I loosen up, God would probably lead me to a better plan.
Right?

Yeah, he would. Or not? What's the worst it can get?
Regret?
Unfulfilled?
A fish out of water?

I've BEEN a fish out of water, yet survived. No biggie. I've survived no matter how bad it got. Could be better, yet couldn't have imagined how different it could be. Guess that was the best.

Been rather tired with fyp. I just wanna hibernate after all the drama. It's really difficult to see the infinite possibilities through a miserably minute window about the events God's gonna do in my life. Just gonna trust Him.

After all, it's still about perspectives, really.

Psalms 139. I find rest in you for the many many discontentments I face. Thank you=)

Happy Valentines!

Finally have time to update my blog...Phew...the past few weeks I have been either too busy or lazy to update at all. Yesterday just went out with my cliques to Shokudo to have our dinner and celebrate valentines=) We're so stressed up by FYP...needed some time off to relax our minds. Notice we're all wearing black~haha...Cam's idea of all of us wearing black. We are the black parade~~~~















All our act cute faces..hahaha...sheila and yuan's not here because they were at LWM when we took the shot and they later joined us. Yuan's gonna be a hot hot babe soon. Cam's off dating with her boyfriend~































From the top: Yuan and her choco gift; the wrapper has these words on it...hahaha, Cow aka sheila and her stuffed rose, Ahma aka Limin and her cute turtle (can light up wor~~~), Cam and her heart locket keychain=)

Love them lots=) Thanks for everything.

Looking back at 2008 ♥

New year with new post=) Really miss my older post because it contains so much memories! Memories that I shared between my cliques and friends...such happiness that I shared between them can never be bought~ I really cherish and appreciate them in my life!

Lublub them lots♥