Pale blue skies
Green green grass
That hint of sunshine
Red roses
and violets too
Just me and you
What a wonderful world
I've said my goodbyes
held your hand in mine
Looked into your beautiful eyes
So hard to let you go
Like a flicker of candle
Warm yet fragile
For a life so small
But you gave your all
And suddenly
I just wished
to see that pale blue skies
green green grass
That hint of sunshine
red roses
and violets too
Just me and you
Goodbye. I love you.
This is dedicated to my dear friend, Carine and her mum.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
He's always still
Dear God,
This is the day
Where some parts of the world crumble
Where people can tangibly hold their agony
Some parts of the world
Lies smaller corners
Where our existence lay
Small but significant nonetheless
Trying our utter best to do what we can
With what we have
And even if we don't have
It seems worth the embarrassment
For the silliness of the moment
Later to be a memory
Sometimes, we felt like throwing in the towel
Other times in pain
Bereaved
Hurt
Lost
Discouraged
But God
You never seem far
Though intangible
Though invisible
You never tumble
You never fall
And You never fail to comfort those in need
No matter what happens
Your Grace is never far from where You won't be able to reach us
I Love You, God.
Never make me grow up without You.
This is the day
Where some parts of the world crumble
Where people can tangibly hold their agony
Some parts of the world
Lies smaller corners
Where our existence lay
Small but significant nonetheless
Trying our utter best to do what we can
With what we have
And even if we don't have
It seems worth the embarrassment
For the silliness of the moment
Later to be a memory
Sometimes, we felt like throwing in the towel
Other times in pain
Bereaved
Hurt
Lost
Discouraged
But God
You never seem far
Though intangible
Though invisible
You never tumble
You never fall
And You never fail to comfort those in need
No matter what happens
Your Grace is never far from where You won't be able to reach us
I Love You, God.
Never make me grow up without You.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Not so perfect
"Ahma, this is jiejie, this is me...this is weiwei. Do you recognise? Weiwei became fatter."
"This boy just finished doing army?"
"No Ahma. This is Weiwei ar. You remember?"
I just tried not to cry.
"Yokeling ar, I want to go home quickly."
"Ahma, just wait for 2 more days. Wait for your report to be out."
"Ok. Yokeling ar, I want to go home quickly. My hand very pain."
Ahma, I promise there's no more tubes and injections when we get home. We'll eat bananas together and watch the television. I'll promise to hold your hand until you fall asleep, like how we hold hands in the hospital.
Feeling powerless and seeing your loved ones suffer in pain is absolutely the worst feeling in the world.
And I dread it the most.
Things are not so good at home either. I wish for everything to stop. But it won't.
Time to grow up. I now view things in a different perspective. When everything doesn't go well for you, how would you react? How would you face it?
I'm happy but I'm not.
I tried but I can't.
I'm seeing it but I can't do anything about it.
I'm feeling helpless and upset. I admit it. I can't put on a mask all the time. People are not so perfect and strong all the time. They have their vulnerable sides.
And losing a loved one is the worst of the worst feeling.
"This boy just finished doing army?"
"No Ahma. This is Weiwei ar. You remember?"
I just tried not to cry.
"Yokeling ar, I want to go home quickly."
"Ahma, just wait for 2 more days. Wait for your report to be out."
"Ok. Yokeling ar, I want to go home quickly. My hand very pain."
Ahma, I promise there's no more tubes and injections when we get home. We'll eat bananas together and watch the television. I'll promise to hold your hand until you fall asleep, like how we hold hands in the hospital.
Feeling powerless and seeing your loved ones suffer in pain is absolutely the worst feeling in the world.
And I dread it the most.
Things are not so good at home either. I wish for everything to stop. But it won't.
Time to grow up. I now view things in a different perspective. When everything doesn't go well for you, how would you react? How would you face it?
I'm happy but I'm not.
I tried but I can't.
I'm seeing it but I can't do anything about it.
I'm feeling helpless and upset. I admit it. I can't put on a mask all the time. People are not so perfect and strong all the time. They have their vulnerable sides.
And losing a loved one is the worst of the worst feeling.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Grandma
Dear Grandma,
I've got so many stories to tell you, so many things to chat with you
Even simple things like just asking "How are you?", "Have you eaten?", "The weather is very hot today"
Just visiting you, sitting by your bedside and watching that small television at that little corner
Patting the stray cat that Aunt just adopted and watching you stroke it
Telling me stories of the past during your kampong days
But as days go by, your body became frail and weak
Your eyesight is blurred one side and you became bed-ridden
That's not all
Your money-grubbing children plot of how to have a share in your inheritence
How to coax you out of what they want
Never sparing a thought of how you felt
You just gave in; knowingly but willingly
That's not all
Your condition worsens
You struggle to get by everyday
And finally dementia starts to take it's course
One moment you forget totally who we are, the other you have to think hard to remember
Otherwise you zonk out; totally spaced out
Your weak body just slumped on the bed
One foot into the grave
I am nothing but helpless. Only praying.
God please help her.
I've got so many stories to tell you, so many things to chat with you
Even simple things like just asking "How are you?", "Have you eaten?", "The weather is very hot today"
Just visiting you, sitting by your bedside and watching that small television at that little corner
Patting the stray cat that Aunt just adopted and watching you stroke it
Telling me stories of the past during your kampong days
But as days go by, your body became frail and weak
Your eyesight is blurred one side and you became bed-ridden
That's not all
Your money-grubbing children plot of how to have a share in your inheritence
How to coax you out of what they want
Never sparing a thought of how you felt
You just gave in; knowingly but willingly
That's not all
Your condition worsens
You struggle to get by everyday
And finally dementia starts to take it's course
One moment you forget totally who we are, the other you have to think hard to remember
Otherwise you zonk out; totally spaced out
Your weak body just slumped on the bed
One foot into the grave
I am nothing but helpless. Only praying.
God please help her.
Monday, September 21, 2009
What If?
"What if fear doesn't exist.
The child would not have to lie to his mum.
The girl would not cry for the guy.
The man would not look out the window wondering how to feed his family for the next half year.
What if the world contains no doubt.
The singer would not sit and write that sad song.
The wife would not sniff out her husband's coat.
The old grandma would not frown in her seat on Sunday morning.
What if there is no greed among us.
The businessman would not have to sell his house.
The young lad would be contented being just a friend.
The domestic helper would not have to return to her country in shame.
But then...
How would the child learn that lying is wrong.
How would the girl know of a greater love.
How would the man realize that everyday, they are being fed.
The singer wouldn't know how to tie emotions with skills.
The wife could still be ignoring her husband.
Grandma could be sitting at home wondering when her world will end.
The businessman wouldn't be free enough to be with his children.
That lad wouldn't understand love.
The helper would have to wait two years to see her family again......if all this hadn't happened.
I'd promise you wings to fly, but how would you ever learn to run." -adapted from a friend's blog entry.
There are too many obstacles in life that contains the doubt of 'what if'. At times, we would be too angry with ourselves for just trying too hard or not even trying at all. All in all, we'll somehow just end up in exhaustion. It happens to everyone including me. Too many thoughts, too many plans, too disorganised, etc etc especially now that I'm fully independent and am a working adult already. Somehow, I just feel that I'm half dumped into a vast ocean. Maybe three-quarts in.
I surrender. And...
God, I'm grateful for You.
The child would not have to lie to his mum.
The girl would not cry for the guy.
The man would not look out the window wondering how to feed his family for the next half year.
What if the world contains no doubt.
The singer would not sit and write that sad song.
The wife would not sniff out her husband's coat.
The old grandma would not frown in her seat on Sunday morning.
What if there is no greed among us.
The businessman would not have to sell his house.
The young lad would be contented being just a friend.
The domestic helper would not have to return to her country in shame.
But then...
How would the child learn that lying is wrong.
How would the girl know of a greater love.
How would the man realize that everyday, they are being fed.
The singer wouldn't know how to tie emotions with skills.
The wife could still be ignoring her husband.
Grandma could be sitting at home wondering when her world will end.
The businessman wouldn't be free enough to be with his children.
That lad wouldn't understand love.
The helper would have to wait two years to see her family again......if all this hadn't happened.
I'd promise you wings to fly, but how would you ever learn to run." -adapted from a friend's blog entry.
There are too many obstacles in life that contains the doubt of 'what if'. At times, we would be too angry with ourselves for just trying too hard or not even trying at all. All in all, we'll somehow just end up in exhaustion. It happens to everyone including me. Too many thoughts, too many plans, too disorganised, etc etc especially now that I'm fully independent and am a working adult already. Somehow, I just feel that I'm half dumped into a vast ocean. Maybe three-quarts in.
I surrender. And...
God, I'm grateful for You.
Monday, July 27, 2009
崇拜
"你的姿態 你的青睞
我存在在你的存在
你以為愛 就是被愛
你揮霍了我的崇拜
我活了 我愛了 我都不管了
心愛到瘋了 恨到算了 就好了
可能的 可以的 真的可惜了
幸福好不容易 怎麼你卻不敢了呢
我還以為我們能 不同於別人
我還以為不可能的 不會不可能
風箏有風 海豚有海
我存在在我的存在
所以明白 所以離開
所以不再為愛而愛
自己存在 在你之外"
令人流淚的歌一定要再三看再三聽，直至看到聽到不再流淚感到麻目 那一刻開始，人才會開始真正面對那個受傷害的自己。
How many times have you felt so upset that you feel that life becomes meaningless and numb? Not being emo, but just a thought that it's just a choice how you want to live your life and face the hurts that come your way.
我存在在你的存在
你以為愛 就是被愛
你揮霍了我的崇拜
我活了 我愛了 我都不管了
心愛到瘋了 恨到算了 就好了
可能的 可以的 真的可惜了
幸福好不容易 怎麼你卻不敢了呢
我還以為我們能 不同於別人
我還以為不可能的 不會不可能
風箏有風 海豚有海
我存在在我的存在
所以明白 所以離開
所以不再為愛而愛
自己存在 在你之外"
令人流淚的歌一定要再三看再三聽，直至看到聽到不再流淚感到麻目 那一刻開始，人才會開始真正面對那個受傷害的自己。
How many times have you felt so upset that you feel that life becomes meaningless and numb? Not being emo, but just a thought that it's just a choice how you want to live your life and face the hurts that come your way.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Graduation!
It's over =)
3 years of study just ended. Everything that we've been through: laughter, joy, sorrow, despair, anger, friendships made and broken, lecturers constant nagging etc etc.
A new chapter in life begins.
By the way I found an interesting article:
Funny truths about life in small, small Singapore
1.Night- sleep with aircon, Day- bathe with heater on
2.Day- Cannot wake up, Night- Cannot sleep
3.Cigarettes- Convenient to buy, not convenient to smoke
4.Chewing Gum- Can chew, cannot buy (restricted to buying)
5.Private Cars- Cheaper and cheaper to buy, more and more expensive to maintain
6.Education- Teachers are teaching less but expecting students to learn more
7.High tech babaric Singaporeans- Know how to use state-of-the-art equipments but don't know how to use a simple dustbin of toilet properly
8.Translation is needed between Singapore Chinese and Mainland Chinese
9.Singaporeans don't like to vote but like to complain
10.Half of the Singaporeans rush to buy Hello Kitty, but the other half rush to kill and abuse stray cats
11.Public Bus- Half the crowd squeeze in the front section of the bus, the second section is for carrying ghosts
LOL!
I am Singaporean but not all the above applies to me-_-'''
Anyway, really thank and appreciate lots to all friends =) lublub!
Have to find job soon. But that's just part en parcel of life. What's gonna happen next? I don't have a clue. No matter how foolproof my life plan seems to be there's just loopholes that I cannot fathom. No matter how much I want things to go my way, it simply isn't perfect. And no matter how hard I pray at times, the prayer isn't always answered. Just like the article above, it doesn't accurately define our personalities.
But I know as You said: To all perfection I see a limit.
I am greatful the One Above is looking.
3 years of study just ended. Everything that we've been through: laughter, joy, sorrow, despair, anger, friendships made and broken, lecturers constant nagging etc etc.
A new chapter in life begins.
By the way I found an interesting article:
Funny truths about life in small, small Singapore
1.Night- sleep with aircon, Day- bathe with heater on
2.Day- Cannot wake up, Night- Cannot sleep
3.Cigarettes- Convenient to buy, not convenient to smoke
4.Chewing Gum- Can chew, cannot buy (restricted to buying)
5.Private Cars- Cheaper and cheaper to buy, more and more expensive to maintain
6.Education- Teachers are teaching less but expecting students to learn more
7.High tech babaric Singaporeans- Know how to use state-of-the-art equipments but don't know how to use a simple dustbin of toilet properly
8.Translation is needed between Singapore Chinese and Mainland Chinese
9.Singaporeans don't like to vote but like to complain
10.Half of the Singaporeans rush to buy Hello Kitty, but the other half rush to kill and abuse stray cats
11.Public Bus- Half the crowd squeeze in the front section of the bus, the second section is for carrying ghosts
LOL!
I am Singaporean but not all the above applies to me-_-'''
Anyway, really thank and appreciate lots to all friends =) lublub!
Have to find job soon. But that's just part en parcel of life. What's gonna happen next? I don't have a clue. No matter how foolproof my life plan seems to be there's just loopholes that I cannot fathom. No matter how much I want things to go my way, it simply isn't perfect. And no matter how hard I pray at times, the prayer isn't always answered. Just like the article above, it doesn't accurately define our personalities.
But I know as You said: To all perfection I see a limit.
I am greatful the One Above is looking.
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